More Than You Even Know
by wildwillowtree
Summary: This story contains spoilers so if you haven't seen the season 8 finale, you've been warned. Kensi and Deeks juggle wedding planning, undercover missions, and new additions to their family in this soon to be multi-chapter fic. Lots of Densi fluff and possibly some Neric things to come. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first published fanfiction. I have been wanting to publish this for a while. Please review and let me know what improvements I can make. I will be posting more chapters soon. Disclaimer: I sadly do not own NCIS-LA.**

Stressed. There was so much on her plate at the moment. With planning the wedding and her ever growing caseload, she never seemed to get a break. Deeks tried to help and he did some, but he couldn't help take the pressure off of her. He was just so happy about everything and it made everything harder. Earlier she had asked which flowers he preferred when she couldn't decide and with a huge smile that melted her heart, he said that either one would be perfect. That feeling she got from his smile quickly disappeared as she became annoyed with him. Why couldn't he just help her choose?

Everything had to be perfect. They had been through so much together. This wedding was one thing Kensi wasn't going to let anyone screw up, especially herself. There was one thing stressing her out more than the wedding planning or all the paperwork from their recent cases though. It was this fear that kept creeping up on her. As the wedding date approached she got more anxious that her nightmares would come true. Sometimes it even made her sick to her stomach. She told herself it was irrational, but she still woke up terrified looking for him every night. She would feel his arms around her and instantly realize it was just a dream. Deeks wouldn't leave her. He loved her as much as she loved him. He had waited for her to be ready and, he hadn't left her side when she was in a coma. He was hers and she was his. Even though she knew this, she still had dreams of walking down the aisle and seeing him not standing there waiting for her. She knew he wouldn't abandon her, not willingly anyway. But if he-if he..., she couldn't bring herself to think the words. If he did, there was that three letter word again, and never come back to her she would fall apart. It had been so hard to let him in because the closer he was to her, the harder it would be for her not to have him near. Now she knew she couldn't live without him. She was strong, she was tuff, but that was the one thing that she knew she wouldn't be able to take. She knew he would die for her. He had said that he would many times before. She loved to know that he loved her that much, but she would rather be shot then have him take a bullet for her. Kensi laid in their bed for hours in his arms staring at the ceiling. All the while, willing herself to sleep and forget. When she closed her eyes though, it was like he was suddenly ripped away from her.

She snuggled closer to him. His level breathing calmed her as his scent engulfed her.

"I love you" she whispered to her sleeping fiancé, "more than you even know." As if in response to her words he hugged her closer to him, and then she slept. For the first time in a few weeks, she actually slept, even if it was only for a little while.

He had noticed a difference in her behavior recently. She'd been snappy with everyone. It seemed like all of her emotions were on high alert. Now that he thought about it, it had been at least a month since he'd seen her relaxed and happy. She still laughed at his jokes, but her smile seemed to be hiding something. He knew he was the only one, besides Hetty, who noticed that there was something wrong. He knew her so well it was like she was a part of him. He knew something was bothering her, but he didn't know what it was. He wished she would talk to him. It had always been difficult for her to talk to him but, she'd gotten better. She did purpose to him the last time after all. Then a terrible theory popped into his head. He tried to shake it off, but couldn't. Was she having doubts? Was she scared and starting to push him away? She knew he would never leave her, but he also knew that deep down she always feared that, just like the other men in her life, he would disappear. He promised that he wouldn't ever leave her. Could she be regretting the proposal? Was it in the heat of the moment? Was it that she didn't want to lose him like Sam lost Michelle? A ring would make it official. A ring would tell the world they belonged to each other. Was having doubts the reason why she was so stressed?

She hadn't been sleeping well lately. Was he doing this to her? Last night she had woken him up. She had been tossing and turning in his arms when he gently shook her awake. When she woke up he pretended to be asleep. The only time he had questioned her about her nightmares she had shut him down. She even slept farther away from him that night.

She woke with a start after he shook her. She reached out and pulled his arm tighter around her. Then she had turned and buried her face in his chest. Then she had cried. It startled him when he felt her tears dampen his t-shirt. She hadn't cried like this in so long. It seemed as if she had no control of her emotions.

That night he had been holding her in his arms, hoping she wasn't having doubts when he heard her whisper, "I love you, more than you even know." He knew she thought he was asleep so all he did was pull her closer to him. "No," he told himself "Having doubts, wasn't it." Something was definitely bothering Kensi Blye and he was determined to find out what.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the next chapter. I won't always be posting a new chapter this fast, but I had this one ready. Thank you so much for the messages and reviews. Please keep reviewing and tell me what you think. More chapters coming soon!**

Kensi woke with a start. She had slept better last night. In fact, she slept better than any other night this week. Something was off though, and whatever it was had woken her up. Then she felt it again, the lurch in her stomach. Her dream came back to her in a flash. She had been alone in a dark place and all she could hear were their voices screaming pain. Deeks was screaming for her as their captors tortured him.

With the memories of the dream coming back she felt the same panic set back in. Her stomach lurched once again. She scrambled up from their bed and ran to the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet before she threw up. Once she started throwing up she felt like she couldn't stop.

He was awoken by her tossing and turning again. He was half asleep when she sat up. He became fully awake though when she jumped out of the bed and ran. He heard the bathroom door hit the wall as she flung it open. He saw the glow of the light slip out from the bathroom. Then he heard another sound, one that worried him even more. Was she throwing up? He jumped out of his bed and went to the bathroom. She hadn't even bothered to close the door. He rushed in and sat down behind her. He held her hair as she threw up. He lovingly stroked her back and was surprised when she didn't resist. It broke his heart to see his ladybird like this. After what seemed like forever, but in reality was only a few minutes, she leaned back into his arms. She was shaky and looked defeated in the low light. He hadn't seen her like this in so long. Just as everything had got better, almost normal, Sam lost Michelle. Why did all of this have to happen to them? Sure it made them stronger as a couple, but it just sucked. There was nothing more to describe it than, it just sucks.

He just sat there and held her. Then she began to cry. He held her and whispered that "everything was going to be okay." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. They were pleading with him, but he didn't what she was asking. All he could think to do was wipe a tear from her face and simply say, "I'm right here sugarbear." It must have been the right thing to say because she seemed to relax in his arms. They sat there, on the bathroom floor, in comfortable silence. They felt safe in each other's arms.

What was going on with her? She felt all out of sorts and then this? She didn't realize she had woken him up until he was sitting behind her, holding her hair. He stayed, even though it was gross. He held her. When she had thrown up what she swore was everything she had ever eaten in her life, she fell back into his loving arms. It felt good to be in his arms. Then she starting crying. Why? Kensi Blye never cried. Something was wrong and she wanted it to be fixed. She looked up at Deeks, wanting him to fix it. She knew he could have no idea what her eyes were trying to say. Somehow though, he knew exactly what to say. He fixed it, at least for a little while. She sat there in his arms for a while thinking.

She thought back to the nights she had woken up from terrible dreams in his arms, him being sound asleep. Was he really asleep? She must have been kicking and mumbling, that's what she did when she had nightmares. She must have woken him up. He had looked more tired recently. She knew she needed to talk to him, to explain what was going on. He would understand, they'd been through so much, but they had done it together. She just didn't know what to say. So, she sat there.

He spoke first. He had been thinking about everything that had been happening to her recently. He figured he had to try and get her to talk to him. So, he said, "Kens." and he waited.

"Yeah?"

"Just tell me, Princess."

"Deeks, I… I don't know what to say… I-I"

"Please?" He felt bad the moment he said it. He was pushing her. He saw the look on her face when he said it. She looked so hurt because she realized she was hurting him.

"Okay."

"I'm sorry I pushed you and if you're not ready, I unders…"

"No, you're right, I need to talk to you." She chuckled to herself as she said, "It is fun to see you beg though." Just like that, she smiled. He could see it in the dim light and it made him feel better.

"Okay, I'm not exactly sure how to put this, so no interruptions. You can speak when I'm done, okay?"

"Fine, but I'm just gonna say this now, whatever it is we're gonna get through it together, we always do."

"Deeks, I'm scared." He tensed as his fears about her having doubts returned.

She felt him tense as she told him and she realized what he must be thinking. "It's not what you think." She said as she grabbed his hand in hers. "I'm not scared to marry you. Marrying you is all I can think about. Of course, I'm nervous, but that's not it. Don't speak."

"I didn't and I promised I wouldn't."

"Your speaking!"

"Hey! You started…"

"Deeks!" She said lightly punching him in the arm.

"Okay, continue."

"Don't say a word. I'm scared you're going to leave me before we make it to the wedding."

"Kens, I would never…"

"Deeks!" She said punching him in the arm a little harder this time. "I said no talking, you have to let me finish." He just sighed in response. "I know you wouldn't leave me willingly, but what happens if you die before we get married. I keep having these dreams where I walk down the aisle and you're not there. You're dead and I can't...I just." She started to cry again. All the while she was mentally kicking herself for crying this much, she never cried.

"Then let's do it right now."

"What?"

"Let's get married right now."

She laughed at the thought, "Right now, Deeks? On the bathroom floor?"

"Yes."

She looked up at him and realized he was being serious. She freed herself from his embrace and turned to face him. "And how exactly would that work?"

"We say our vows and we say I do. We promise to spend the rest of our lives together. That's all marriage really is. It won't be official, but it will be official to us. Come on princess, what do you say, will you marry me?"

She paused for a moment. "Why not, but this is stupid," she said, pretending she didn't love the idea. He knew from the look in her eyes how much it meant to her. They said their 'I do's', kissed, and then Deeks carried Kensi back to their bed. Kensi slept without any nightmares for the rest of the night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: The story continues. This chapter is a little longer than the last two, so I hope you like that. Thank you for all of your reviews. If you have any notes for me I greatly appriciate it. Your support has been great. I hoping to continue this story fo a while. I also tried to space out the story more for easier reading as was sugested. Enjoy!**

She jumped from their bed and ran to the bathroom to throw up once again. It had only been a few hours since the last time, but this time it was different.

Sunlight was streaming through the windows as Kensi kneeled on the bathroom floor. This time Deeks wasn't there to hold her hair. He had gone surfing and had woken her up to tell her just thirty minutes earlier.

She finished puking, cursing the timing of this stomach bug. Why did it have to be now, just before the wedding? She got off the floor and walked to the sink to brush her teeth.

She unscrewed the toothpaste and dropped the cap onto the floor. "Crap!" She yelled as she bent down onto the floor to look for it. Then she saw something that made her stop.

There was a box on the floor pushed under the cabinet the sink was on. The box was unopened and that's what made her heart skip a beat.

She opened the bottom drawer just above the unopened box to check. Sure enough, the box inside the drawer was still half full. That's when all the pieces clicked into place.

She thought back to just over a month ago. All her crying and snappiness, even her new love for pickles and Twinkies together fit the timeline. Everything made sense. She was sure in that moment, but not sure enough to tell Deeks. Just as the pieces finally clicked he walked right through the front door.

"Kensalina, baby, I'm home!" He yelled as he closed the door. He would be coming into the bedroom to check on her. She didn't know what made her not want to tell him. She just couldn't say the words until she was sure that it was true.

She jumped up from the bathroom floor and silently closed the door. She began to brush her teeth, lost in thought.

A store bought test just wouldn't do. Kensi didn't like the possibility of a false positive of false negative. There was also the possibility that she could run into someone she knew buying a pregnancy test. That would be an awkward conversation, not to mention Deeks needed to be the first to know.

Then again, she figured with all of her mood swings lately Hetty probably already knew. She thought Hetty had been giving her mostly desk work because of the wedding. Maybe the wedding wasn't the only reason Kensi had been tied to her desk lately.

She was so caught up in her thoughts she didn't even notice Deeks come in until he gently laid a hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly. She instinctively grabbed his hand and twisted it into a very painful hold.

She released him as soon as she saw it was him. She had no idea why she had done that. She knew he was home.

"Aw! Kens, I told you I was home. I got ready for work waiting for you to come out of the bathroom. When I was done and you still weren't out I was worried. I knocked a bunch and you didn't answer so I figured I needed to check on you."

"I'm sorry Marty I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing."

"Well it obviously wasn't nothing, but today I will let it slide. Are you still feeling bad?"

"Yeah, actually, I think I may have some kind of stomach bug." This was her chance to come up with an excuse to skip work today in favor of a doctor's appointment. "I was just about to go and call Hetty to ask for the day off."

Deeks wasn't buying it. He gave her a questioning look. Nope, she definitely did not look sick. He didn't doubt that her stomach felt bad, but she didn't look pale. She actually looked happy and healthy. He could have sworn she was glowing. He sensed something else was going on as well. Since when did Kensi skip work because she felt a little nauseous.

He gave her that look. She knew he didn't completely buy it. She knew he wouldn't have dropped it if he hadn't watched her throw up the night before. She watched him scan her face for a hint of a lie. She was so nervous. If he pressed her about the subject much more she knew she would tell him. She wasn't exactly sure why she didn't want to tell him. They'd talked about this, she wanted this. The timing was worried her. She just wasn't sure if she was ready. She knew she wasn't done being an agent, but would she have to give up her career?

All these questions and thoughts were swirling around her brain at top speed. The biggest reason, she decided, for not telling him was that if she was wrong she would have to tell him was not going to be a Dad after all. She knew she couldn't stand to see his face after she had crushed his dreams.

She smiled at him and then looked at her watch. "Deeks your going to be late! Hetty isn't going to be happy. You're already missing the next three weeks for the wedding and the honeymoon, you could at least show up for work on time."

Her eyes sparkled as she stopped rambling on about Hetty. His smile widened before she faked shock and horror. "Oh! You don't think she would have someone cut off your," She paused for effect, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. "It would be a difficult punishment, but maybe you'd show up on time."

"That would be less of a punishment for me and more of a punishment for you," he replied. Her grin disappeared as she punched him in the arm.

Her smile returned to her face as he howled in pain. She walked up to him and put her hands on his chest. He let go of his arm and stared into her beautiful eyes.

"Be careful today, okay?" She said seriously. She smiled as she added, "I don't want to hear you complain about getting your ass kicked because I wasn't there to watch it."

She leaned in so her lips were just inches from his. "I love you." She whispered. He wrapped his arms around her waist in an attempt to pull her closer. She leaned in to kiss him, but before their lips touched she turned her head and kissed him on the cheek.

"Have fun at work today, hubby!" She said laughing as she turned and left the bathroom. He followed her through the bedroom and into the kitchen raving in protest.

"You can't expect me to leave for work without kissing my beautiful wife or making her breakfast."

"I'm not actually that hungry." She was lying, but she wanted him to leave so she could go to the doctor and find out if her suspicions were true.

"Alright, I'm going," he said still following Kensi as they walked to the door. Just as they reached the door he stopped. He reached out and grabbed Kensi's arm. He pulled her close to him and kissed her. It was deep and passionate. He pushed her up against the door and their kiss seemed to last forever. When they eventually pulled away she was speechless. Even now that they kissed each other all the time, his touch still took her breath away.

He touched his forehead to hers and said, "I'll be careful." He smiled at her as he pulled away from her embrace. He pulled her away from the door by her hand. He grabbed his keys from a bowl on a table near the door. He squeezed her hand and then opened the door to leave.

He turned back to look at his ladybird and said, "When I get home you're going to tell me the reason you really stayed home today."

"Since when do you get to tell me what to do," she replied with a small laugh. In her reality though, she couldn't wait to tell him the true reason. She needed his support either way.

"We're married princess, and we've never had secrets."

"I love you." That was the only response she could think of.

"I love you more than you even know." He replied with a wink. She was suddenly sure he had been awake that night. He walked out the door and her her happiness was replaced with the nervousness that surrounded her day.

She went back into their bedroom and sat down on their bed. She picked up her phone, trying to prepare herself for the calls she was about to make. She had to call Hetty and confront what this could mean for her career and partnership. Then she had to call someone she hadn't talked to in a long time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to update. I just got back from vacation and I had no wifi while I was away. This chapter is a good bit longer than the last few, so I hope that makes up for the delay. The next few chapters might come at a slower pace because school is about to start back. Please continue to read and review. Thank you so much for all your reviews, favorites, and follows. Reading your reviews makes me want to write more and they all make me smile.**

Deeks drove to OSP lost in thought. This wasn't completely unusual. He thought a lot during his morning drives to work. His banter with Kensi was limited in the mornings. She was always grumpy or stuffing food into her mouth on their morning drives.

Today, Deeks found that being alone made him quite uncomfortable. He couldn't remember the last time he had driven into work alone. He wished he would have called in sick today so he could have stayed home with Kensi.

She had been acting very odd when he left the house. He felt like she was hiding something from him. He had no idea what was going on with her.

He knew she was sick because he had seen her throw up, but he thought it was because of stress. When he saw her in the bathroom this morning she didn't look sick at all. She looked healthier than she had in a few weeks. He just couldn't wrap his mind around her reason for skipping work and hurrying him out the door.

He decided these were questions he would have to talk to Kensi about later as he pulled up at OSP. He sighed as he got out of the car. He didn't feel as safe and content when his partner wasn't by his side.

He just hoped it would be a boring paperwork day so that he had a chance to get home early. He was ready for the day to be over before it had begun.

The funny thing about Deeks' life was that it always seemed that on days when he desperately wanted a case to appear, nothing happened. It was just his luck that the few times he was looking forward to a quiet day at the office, the day was anything but quiet.

Kensi sat and stared at her phone. She had turned her phone on so many times she had lost count. Each time she turned it on her resolve to make the call crumbled and she let her phone screen fade until her phone turned off.

She knew she had to call. She was excited about this. She kept telling herself it was a good thing. The little voice inside of her head was telling a very different story. It was yelling at her, telling her this was a huge mistake. She was not cut out to be a mother. She was great at being a kick-ass agent, but she didn't have the skills to be a parent.

This would be the end of so many things. She didn't doubt it would be an amazing chapter in her life, but she wasn't ready to put away her badge and gun.

What if she was wrong? That thought scared her the most. Since she had seen the unopened tampon box under the sink, she had been sure. She was so sure in fact, that she wasn't ready to lose the idea that there was a child growing inside of her.

She really wished she could talk to Deeks. He always had a way to make her feel better. She just wasn't ready for him to know.

She realized that her hand had once again drifted to touch her stomach. She smiled despite her insecurities. She took a deep breath and turned on her phone again. It took several more deep breaths to successfully type in her password and open up her contacts.

She went to the J's in her phones and found the name she was looking for. She waited anxiously as the phone rang.

"Hello?" The muffled voice from the other end of the line answered.

"Jen? Hey, it's Kensi."

"Oh my god Kens it's been forever. How are you?"

"Yeah, I'm super sorry it's been so long. With my job, it's hard to keep in touch."

"So then I can safely assume this isn't just a social call? Who's the guy? One night stand or a long-term thing?"

"Like I said I'm really sorry. I feel like I only call you when I think I'm pregnant. I'm so awful!"

"Kensi, it's okay. You call at least three times a year. We really should get together more, the last time I saw you was like two or three years ago after that thing with a coworker right?"

"Yeah. Can you see me today? I'll tell you everything when I get there and we could even grab lunch so it's less of an appointment."

"Anything for my favorite childhood friend. How's 11:00? We can go and get lunch during my break."

"You really are the best you know that right?" She laughed into the phone.

"Yes of course I know. You better give me all the details when you come in."

"It would be cruel not to. Alright, I have to make another call. I'll see you in a bit." Kensi hung up the phone and let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. The doctor's appointment made everything seem so real.

She felt bad for only calling Jen when it was a holiday or when she thought she was pregnant. Keeping friends at arm's length was an occupational hazard she had signed up for. Jen was one of her only friends who knew what her real job was. She had to know to keep her name hidden when she had appointments.

Kensi and Jen's fathers had been stationed together twice and they had become fast friends. Kensi was there for Jen when her father died. Then Jen was there for Kensi when her Mother left. They had gone through so much together. Kensi still felt guilty for cutting Jen out of her life after the death of her own Father.

She had contacted Jen when she was in college and they got together to catch up. That was the day Kensi found out Jen was going to school to be an OB-GYN.

The first time she had gone to Jen was when she was with Jack. It had been a store-bought test false positive. She had to get special permission from Hetty to tell Jen about her job. She decided that day that if she ever was to have a baby Jen was going to be her doctor.

She always went to different doctors under different aliases to protect herself. That's why she rarely talked to Jen. She wanted there to be very little linking them together.

Kensi looked down at the phone in her hands. She realized Deeks would be showing up at OSP without her soon and that meant she needed to place a call to Hetty.

Hetty answered the phone on the first ring.

"I assume you won't be coming into work today Ms. Blye."

"I … um…"

"Mr. Deeks has just walked in alone, so I assumed."

"Right. I wasn't feeling too well and then I realized … well …" This conversation was turning out to be way harder than Kensi thought it would be.

"I see you have come to realize that you are pregnant."

Kensi's mouth dropped open. How did Hetty know before she did? Then again, Hetty knows everything. That fact didn't stop her from stammering her response though.

"How did you … before I did …"

"I also assume you will be paying your good friend Jen a visit today? May I hazard to also assume that Mr. Deeks does not know about your suspicions."

"Yes and no, he doesn't know."

"Is that all you called to tell me, Ms. Blye? Or is there something else on your mind as well?"

"Hetty I'm not ready to stop being an agent. Does this mean that I can't work anymore?"

"Kensi," Hetty said softly. The use of her first name caught Kensi's attention, "In a month or so you will be on desk duty. I will allow you to work from the office and annoy the wonder twins up in OPS until you have the baby. What happens after the baby is born is not up to me. If you decide you want to come back to work then there is always a spot open for you on this team. I suggest you and Mr. Deeks

have a conversation about this tonight when he returns from work."

"Thank you, Hetty. I'll talk to Deeks tonight. Will you keep an eye on him today for me?"

"No need to worry Ms. Blye, I'm always watching. See you tomorrow."

"Okay Hetty, thanks again."

"Oh, and congratulations Ms. Blye."

"Yeah thanks, bye."

Deeks walked into work to see Hetty on the phone. She had that look on her face again. The look she got when someone finally figured out something Hetty had known for a while. Deeks couldn't help but creep closer to try and listen in. He caught the last few words of the conversation.

"Congratulations? Why was Hetty congratulating Kensi? Very odd." Deeks thought. He cautiously made his way to Hetty's desk hoping she wouldn't know he had been eavesdropping. Of course, as she was Hetty, she already knew.

"I was congratulating your fiance on the upcoming wedding, Mr. Deeks. I assume you are here to tell me that your partner will not be coming in today."

"Yeah," Deeks replied, "I wasn't planning on listening in, it just happened. Sorry." Deeks was puzzled by the expression on Hetty's face. What did she know that he didn't?

Suddenly, the look disappeared and it was replaced by a very serious look instead.

"Mr. Deeks we have a very urgent case. Please go join the rest of the team in OPS. I will be with you in a moment."

Deeks nodded and raced up to OPS. He hoped he wasn't going to be sent to do an undercover operation without Kensi, but he had a feeling he was going to have to go undercover for this case.

Kensi was nervous as she drove to her doctor's appointment. The car ride was too quiet without Deeks. She missed him. She knew it was stupid, but she couldn't stand not being by his side. She really did love that shaggy idiot.

She pulled into the parking lot and took a deep breath before getting out and walking inside the office. She signed in under the name Rose Montgomery. That was the alias she always used when she came to this place.

She pretended to be Dr. Jen Montgomery's cousin visiting from out of town. The nurse at the front desk smiled at her and said, "Dr. Montgomery is with a patient, but she has your visit scheduled so she should be out in just a moment."

Kensi went and sat down in one of the chairs in the waiting area. She let her mind drift off for what felt like ages. When she looked up at the clock, frustrated at how long it was taking, she realized it had only been three minutes since she had sat down.

She sighed and began to think about Deeks. As she sat there for two years, or more accurately ten minutes, she imagined what he was doing. He had no idea that he could be a father. He was out risking his life, partnerless. She tried to tell herself that they were probably just sitting around doing paperwork. She hoped that there wasn't a new case for them to work on.

She was futilely trying to relax her mind when she heard Jen call for her. She rushed from the chair and hugged her friend. She followed Jen back into her office.

"Kens, it's so good to see you."

"I wish I could visit more often."

"Me too. Alright, spill."

Kensi laughed at the forwardness of her friend. She decided to tease her just a bit before she told her everything. "What do you mean?"

"Not cool. It's been forever and you totally owe me for clearing my schedule for you."

Kensi almost never gave in this easily, but her friend had a point. "Alright, I'll spill."

"Okay start with who he is."

"He's the same guy as last time."

"Oh, so it's serious then. Oh my God Kensi are you married? Did you get married without even telling me?"

Kensi felt herself blush. She hadn't invited her to the wedding. She had only invited her college friends, her sniper school friends, the team, and the Moms. It was fairly small. She suddenly wanted to invite Jen, so she did without thinking.

"No, I'm not married. I am engaged though."

"Let me see!"

Kensi held up her hand sheepishly for the other woman to see. She felt weird when people grabbed her hand to stare at her ring. "Do you want to come to the wedding? I haven't sent out the last batch of invitations yet and yours is in it. I can't believe I didn't bring it." Kensi didn't like lying to her friend, but it was way better than telling her she had forgotten to invite her.

"Are you sure? I know that it's important to not be linked to each other."

"I'm positive. You have to come. Please?"

"Okay, thank you! I'll definitely be there. Now, I need to know more about the guy."

"His name is De- I mean Marty. I call him Deeks sometimes, but his name is Marty. You'll meet him soon enough. I didn't know I could love someone this much until I met him. It sounds super cheesy, but it's true." Kensi laughed at herself. She sounded like the crazy, love-struck girl she had always sworn she would never become.

"Aw Kens. I can't wait to meet this guy. I mean any guy who can get you to even go on a second date is something special."

"I love catching up, but do you think we could … um … find out if I'm pregnant?"

"Oh! I'm sorry, you must be dying to know. Come on, I'll take you to an exam room and get a nurse to take some blood."

Kensi followed her friend to an exam room and sat down.

…

Kensi was finished with her exam and was just awaiting the test results. Every creak in the building made her head snap up to look at the door. When the door finally opened to reveal Jen she had to blink to make sure she wasn't crazy.

"So, am I pregnant?" Kensi basically screamed. She couldn't focus enough to read her friends face.

"Kens… I… um," Kensi's face fell as her friend began to speak. "you're pregnant." Kensi felt her heart rise just as fast as it had fallen.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, one-hundred percent sure. Kensi you're having a baby."

Kensi was so happy she could burst. All she wanted to do was to bust into OSP and tell Deeks he was going to be a father. She knew she would have to wait for him to come home before she could tell him. She wished she had just told him this morning. If she had told him he would be with her right now.

"Do you want to see if we can hear the heartbeat. I believe you're about six weeks. You might be able to hear your baby's heartbeat if you would like."

"Six weeks? Wow, it took me that long to figure it out. No wonder Hetty knew before I did."

"Who's Hetty?"

"The English language doesn't contain words to describe Henrietta Lange."

"Um okay. So do you want to see if we can hear the baby's heartbeat."

"No. I want to hear it for the first time with Marty."

"Alright, the nurse at the front will help you schedule your appointments and give you a list of the best prenatal vitamins. I just have to do a few things. I'll meet you at Zoe's Kitchen in fifteen, okay?"

"Alright sounds great."

"If you need to cancel and reschedule just call me and I'll make it happen. You need to come to all of your appointments, but I get that your jobs may be an issue."

"Thanks, Jen. You're the best."

"I know."

With that Kensi walked to pay and Jen walked back to her office. Kensi left the office smiling ear to ear. No matter what she did she couldn't help but smile. No one was going to ruin her smile today, at least not yet.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: I'm really sorry that I took me this long to write this chapter. I ended up rewriting it three times. I introduce the case in this chapter and the first idea I had in my head didn't work as well as I wanted it too. I'm sorry if it's not the most realistic case, I can't really fact check a lot of things. Thanks for all the support on this story. Honestly it will probably take me this long to update from now on because of school. Please review and share your thoughts. Thanks again ~Willow**

Kensi sat on the couch with her eyes trained towards the TV.

The latest episode of Top Model was on, but she wasn't really paying much attention to the episode she had been looking forward to all week.

She was lost in thought. She had been thinking about the same thing for what felt like hours. How was she going to tell Deeks that he was going to be a father?

It had to be perfect. So many good moments in their lives had been brought about because of the evil in the world, and this moment was going to be nothing but smiles and happy tears.

The question of how still remained. Kensi had come up with a few ideas, but none of them seemed right.

So she waited. She sat on the couch imagining what was going to happen when Deeks walked through the door.

Every little sound made her jump and look towards the door, but it was never Deeks.

She heard a creak somewhere, and she whipped around to face the door. When she looked towards the door she realized how dark it was outside.

She hadn't allowed herself to look at the clock and count the minutes until he arrived. Doing that always made the hours seem like days.

She decided it was about time to check the clock.

She turned on her phone, and the screen told her that it was 10:30 pm. She was shocked. She turned her phone off and then back on again to see if it was a glitch. Where was Deeks?

She didn't have a text from anyone on the team or a missed call. Her stomach dropped. She typed in her password with shaking hands and called Hetty.

She didn't really need to ask where Deeks was because she knew in her gut he had gone undercover. If only she had postponed the doctor's appointment until tomorrow.

Hetty picked up the phone on the first ring.

She answered with the words, "Your partner is alive Miss Blye. He was thrown into a last minute undercover operation that I cannot explain to you over the phone. I'll brief you when you arrive."

Kensi was already hurrying to lock the door to her house when Hetty hung up.

Kensi quite possibly broke every traffic law in the state of California to get to headquarters, the excitement about telling Deeks he was a father pushed far from her mind.

When she arrived at work she made herself take a calming breath before going in.

The team was probably stressed with whatever case they were working on and her absence had left them a team member down.

She took a deep breath and exited her car.

Hetty was waiting for her when she entered OSP. Kensi couldn't hold back her questions, so she was asking them before Hetty had a chance to speak, "What's the case? How dangerous is his position? Is everything going smoothly? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Hetty, when is he coming home?"

"Ms. Blye if you wish to be briefed you will have to let me speak."

"I'm sorry Hetty. He's out there alone, it worries me."

Hetty led Kensi to her desk and asked her to sit.

"Deeks is not alone Ms. Blye."

"Who's with him?"

"An old friend from the LAPD requested his help on a case and they went undercover together to infiltrate a smuggling network that has been on our radar for some time now." The way Hetty said 'old friend' made Kensi wonder how Deeks was roped into the case.

"So what's the situation, I mean how was he pulled in."

"He was called in by his other, less authoritative boss. Deeks was not pleased when he was ordered to go in without informing anyone on our side. He told me straight away and I told him to go in. We are watching his back, Mrs. Blye."

Kensi sighed. She wondered when, if ever, Deeks would become a full-time NCIS Agent.

"So what's the case?"

"A man, known to us as the Naf Tuug, has recently expanded his once small human trafficking enterprise into a global enterprise. He made a lot of friends when taking his business global. He claims he now has a network that can get anything to its destination. He does his homework on his clients and it takes a lot to get in his inner circle. He talks through proxies and no one outside of his inner circle knows his true identity. He is good friends with heads of gangs and cartels. He knows a handful of arms dealers personally, but he doesn't have very many friends in his preferred shipping industry. He's having his annual dinner tomorrow night and he has invited some new recruits to join. We think he is looking to train someone to help him and not compete with him in his human trafficking exports. A few weeks ago a task force was set up to infiltrate this dinner. Agents from ATF and DEA are represented on the task force with a handful of the LAPD's best undercover officers. Deeks is also there to represent our interest in the case. We believe Tuug has a Navy contact, and we believe he is using our ships to transport illegal good in and out of this country.

"How have I never heard of this guy before?"

"He tries to keep his enterprise from the law enforcement and he is a very private man. We have no real identity for him, and we have no picture to match to the name. We believe he is from Somalia because of his code name, but we don't know much for sure. We have heard whispers of the soul snatcher trade growing, but we didn't know until recently how much the 'Soul Thief' had grown his business"

"Why Marty? LAPD doesn't really need him and they don't seem the type to reach out to NCIS if we haven't voiced an interest."

"A man Mr. Deeks once worked an undercover op with reached out to him. This man, Matthew Billingsley, has been heading up the task force focused on taking down Naf Tuug. Detective Billingsley was assigned to head up the task force after LAPD discovered a shipment of children in a storage container. None of the evidence linked back to Naf Tuug, but it linked to his network. Billingsley had two detectives go undercover and try to infiltrate the operation by associating themselves with people Tuug has done business with in the past. Both agents were killed within twenty-four hours of trying to make contact with Tuug's operation leaders. Two more officers established themselves further into the operation and were able to get Deeks and Billingsley invitations to the dinner and pre dinner meet up to be vetted. These agents will be at the dinner as well."

"Who are the Agents?"

"ATF Agent Lisa Wesley and DEA Agent Talia Del Campo."

Talia. This really is a case that just keeps on giving.

"What's the plan?"

"Deeks and Billingsly are going undercover as brothers who run a small trafficking ring. Wesley and Talia are going undercover as their wives. Once we get them inside tuug's inner circle we're sending in the SWAT team, and we are shutting down the whole operation."

Kensi had so many questions running through her head. These men were dangerous and Deeks was right in the middle of their organization. She should be undercover as his wife, not Talia.

Kensi shuddered. She did not like this case one bit. Going undercover as a horrible person really took its toll on you.

Eric came running down the stairs from OPS, interrupting her thoughts. Hetty, we have a development in the case.

Kensi sprinted to OPS with Hetty right behind her. She joined the team upstairs and waited anxiously for information.

"What do you have Mr. Beale?"

"LAPD received this package just a few minutes ago."

Eric pulled up some pictures of a box containing a tongue and ten fingers.

Kensi gasped when she saw the pictures. Was it Deeks?

"It was delivered by a man who said he was paid a hundred dollars to drop it off. He also was told to deliver the message, 'your detective is dead'."

Kensi couldn't listen to Eric talk details any longer, she wanted to know which detective was dead.

"Eric, please, is it Deeks?"

"I'm sorry I should have specified it was Billingsley, DNA confirmed."

"Yeah Beale, you should have led with that!" Nell interjected.

Kensi let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding in. Sam walked up behind her and gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

She sighed as she asked, "Has his cover been blown? Do you know if he's okay?"

Nell answered trying to calm her friend, "He hasn't made contact, but we have a video feed and he seems to be fine."

She pulled up the video transmission from Deeks' camera. She could see him only slightly in the dim lit room, but he looked fine.

"Does the sound work?" Kensi asked. She wanted to hear her partner's voice to see if he was really okay.

"No, we aren't getting a very good signal," Nell replied glancing at Kensi. "This is the best we can do."

"Can you read what he's saying?" Callan asked Kensi. He wanted to better understand the situation.

Kensi tried to read his lips, but she couldn't get a good read on the conversation.

"Sorry guys, the angle is off."

"What do we do now?" Sam asked.

Nell came up beside her and gently took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I'm sorry, I know you must be worried sick. If it were me," She said slightly gesturing to an oblivious Eric, "I wouldn't be able to stand it."

Kensi gave her friend a weak smile.

"I'm doing alright. As long as I know he's safe at the moment I can breathe."


End file.
